post-pregnancy recovery

Although I read a little about what to expect after birth, all of the focus was on the baby so it was easy to forget that my body would be healing. As I had a smooth birth and didn't need stitches, what I've experienced is probably the best possible scenario that most women must experience at the very least. 

I had a cut that needed time to heal, this meant that I had a horrible stinging sensation each time I peed. This cleared up after a couple of weeks. I didn't use anything apart from some hot baths and wet wipes after going to the loo, which were kinder to it than toilet paper. I did have a funny waddle to rival my pregnancy waddle, but I think getting out and about so soon helped the healing process.

Although I was quick to heal, everything was sensitive for a while. Luckily I peed very easily, (the motivation of going home from hospital helped) but getting other bowel movements going was more difficult. It felt like if I pushed I'd be putting pressure on everything that was healing. It meant that I didn't go until I really really had to over the first week or two. So, make sure you eat lots of fibre to help!

Bleeding is talked about more, but from what I read and was told I stocked up on lots of 'heavy' pads and was expecting a very heavy flow and bleeding for 6-8 weeks. Thankfully it was like a heavy period for a couple of days and then I'd say medium for a week. I then had another week or so if on/ off spotting which came in waves. When Hugo's was feeding more, it kick started it. By four weeks I had nothing.

After three weeks I was at my pre-pregnancy weight, but I was overweight at the time so still have some way to go! Although supposedly at that weight, it seems to be spread differently. My double chin has turned into a triple chin and although my stomachs always been big, it's a bit bigger, as are my boobs, naturally. Once I stopped breastfeeding the weight started to pile on again, so it's a challenge to start eating smaller portions as I'm now feeding for one!

The sensation of the uterus contracting back was wonderful, it ached a little but it felt like my body was becoming normal again! I also really enjoyed being able to lie on my front and hugging Adi closer without a bump! 

I didn't have stretch-marks throughout pregnancy but a few have appeared after birth. They are tiny and don't at all bother me. There is one mark which is more red in colour and I'm calling this my Hugo birth mark. It's a proud mark of having him inside of me and giving birth to him. I really hope other mums are proud if their post-baby marks too.

Aside from the stinging, the worst part of the recovery was coping with lower back pain while having to frequently lift Hugo in and out of a low crib. I'll definitely invest in a bed height crib next time. 

an overload of induction tips

I've never written about what may or may not have triggered my labour (apart from the obvious of him being ready)..

Everyone, like literally everyone - male, female, parent or not, gives advice on inducing labour. There are more old wives tales on the topic than any other I'm sure. 

I know people mean well, but if I heard one more 'try having a curry' or 'drink raspberry leaf tea' I'd have screamed. For a start, whoever said have a curry or sex was male. Who in their right minds would want the possibility of a curry poo during labour and sex personally was the last thing on my mind. 

Anyway, so before I forget, the things that may (or more likely may not) have worked for me were:

• going for lots of walks
• swinging on the swings in the park
• doing lunges around the living room
• lots of rubbing in circular motions of the belly
• salsa/ Zumba dance moves

So what you'll gather is basically just keep active, but perhaps try to use muscles that haven't been used for a while - the dafter you look prancing around the house the better if my experience is anything to go by.

hospital bag

I did a lot of research about what to pack for the hospital, it turns out that really I didn't need much. Had I been in hospital for longer I could've / would've sent Adi home for more items, so there's no need to pack with a view to staying as long as everything is accessible. We turned up with bags of stuff which just made it harder to find the essentials and way more to carry!

To wear:

• Nighty x 2 - one for during labour and one for after. I personally wouldn't bother with pjs as it's good to have easy access!
• Night nursing bra - these are kind of like the bras you get when you've just developed boobs and I wish I'd discovered them years ago. They keep you in place without the discomfort of a full bra.
• Pants - get big pants that fit maternity pads, but not so big that they feel baggy.
• Slippers - you'll definitely want slip on slippers that you can get someone else to put on you - far easier than dealing with socks when your feet get cold an great to walk around in.
• Dressing gown - great to keep warm and be discreet when breastfeeding. 

Going home outfit:

• Tight fitting strappy top so that you feel well held in and can slip it down to feed. 
• Maternity bra - you could still get away with a comfortable night nursing bra if you're not walking far. 
• A stretchy skirt that will slip over whatever size your belly ends up + leggings if it's cold.
• Slip-on pumps.
• Zip up hoody.

During labour:

• Flannel x 2 - one to use and one to have ready to swap over. The hospital room was really hot so it was great to cool down and also turned out to be useful to bite and scream in to!
• Straws - very useful when you can't use your hands to hold a bottle or cup.
• Juice and water - in bottles.
• Sweets, crisps, biscuits and chewing gum - they last and you'll want something to boost your energy after birth. 
• Camera, phone and charger.
• Toothbrush and toothpaste, face wipes / baby wipes, hair brush, dry shampoo, bobble, grips and hand mirror.

For baby:

• 3 x newborn (unless you're expecting a huge baby) vests and sleepsuits - I'd go with white.
• Hat and mittens - better still are sleepsuits with integrated mittens. 
• Cardigan and a blanket.
• Thin banket for the hospital.
• Changing bag with nappies (smallest size), wipes, nappy bags and anti-bac gel.
• Car-seat - remember not only to fit it before, but also to work out how to adjust the straps, it'll save you a lot of time and stress when you're brain is fried after birth! 

For partner:

• Phone, charger, money, toothbrush and their patience.

Optional others:

• Birth ball - perhaps could have been useful in the early stages but I preferred walking around and rolling around on the bed - the idea of balancing didn't do it for me.
• Tens machine - didn't work for me but I know people who loved it and wouldn't have got by otherwise!
• Sanitary towels - I used the hospitals but you may prefer more discreet pads.
• Towel and showering toiletries - I didn't fancy showering in hospital as I was out the same afternoon, but had I stayed, use of my own towel would've been good.

Don't forget the notes and ensure your partner is aware of your birth 'plan'.

introducing Hugo

I can't quite believe that my son, Hugo George Pauley, was born 12 days ago. It feels like I've known every little minute part of him forever. I understand him and he knows who I am, responding to my voice. We have of course been creating a bond for 9 months, but I didn't really feel the bond with him fully until he was born. He's completely content with both Adi and I and there is a trust between us all, our little family.

The moment I looked down and saw him for the first time was indescribable. He didn't seem real and I couldn't believe just how tiny and delicate he was, yet at the same time how he could fit inside of me. It's a crazy feeling that we created him, a real human being! I thought I would cry, but I often don't in happy emotional situations. I just had an overwhelming feeling of love and protection and was on cloud nine, knowing that he was perfectly healthy.

Looking at him was like I'd known him forever. I wouldn't change a tiny detail and he was just perfect. He has a good head of hair which looks like it has been styled, neat ears, a cute button nose and long curly eyelashes like his father. His lip folds underneath with full lips like his dad's too. He's tall with strong hands and long legs ready to be filled out. His complexion is just peachy and he has a dimple forming on his right cheek - although perhaps not to rival mine. In every way he's just edible - a word that Adi doesn't like but many agree with me is normal as he's just scrumptious.

You can't help but try to compare him to Adi, myself and other family members - he's a little mini-Adi at the moment, but I can't wait to watch his features develop and see who Hugo becomes.

Date of birth: 22nd March 2014

Time: 5.03pm

Location: Pinderfields Hospital, Wakefield

Weight: 6lb11oz

doctor's check

first change at home

ready to go home

post-birth

Very soon after the delivery of the placenta we were left on our own until around 8am when the new midwife was on shift.

The midwife (Sue) who had been with me through labour was fantastic. She said that she used to be a community midwife and had realised that I’d wanted a similar environment to the homebirths she had done, based on wanting to be on the floor with mood lighting. She was very intuitive and I made sure to thank her as she made it such a good experience for me. She said that I’d make the perfect candidate for a home birth.

Shall I think about a home birth for our next baby? I think I was calmer once I got to hospital knowing that I had all of the medical help there if required. As much as it would have been nice to save travelling to and from hospital, it just felt right to be there and probably saved a bit of a clean-up at home too! I was very lucky to have my own room and no time on a ward, so perhaps had I been in hospital for longer a homebirth would be tempting.

The next midwife came in and was a little more of the overly sweet, patronising kind – I’m so glad I didn’t have her for the delivery! She said that I could go by 11am providing I could pee and the baby was fine. I got up almost immediately to pee, determined not to go on to the ward! I then just had to wait for the doctor to check Hugo. They also had to check his blood group from the cord as I am O- blood type. He was O+ so I had to have another injection.

Mum and Dad had left shortly after the delivery to go back to ours to sleep and Adi’s parents popped over to meet Hugo. I spent time trying to feed him and had the F.A.B. breastfeeding 'angel's' advice and guidance to help. There was no signal so Adi left the room a few times to update family, but I couldn’t get in touch with anyone which felt odd!

It took a long time for a doctor to examine Hugo and she also asked for a 2nd opinion on his heart so we weren't done until about 2pm. By lunch my sister was with us, having driven straight up from London. Hugo also did his first poo which was incredible! When they say ‘tar-like’ they aren’t kidding!

Just as we were able to go, we realised that the car seats straps were too short. It took Adi and Layla two degrees, Google, an instruction booklet and about half an hour to figure it out! It was a good job Layla was with us as she figured it out in the end.

Reflection 

As far as births go I had an 'easy birth' however I have told Adi that he can't say that, as it's still giving birth and called labour for a reason! In Adi's words I 'nailed it'.

I honestly believe that you can help yourself. I remained calm and went into my own zone, ignoring my surroundings and trying to focus on managing the pain. I tried not to panic or get stressed and I followed my body's lead.

Before I left hospital I already knew I’d go through it again, it’s amazing how hormones and a baby at the end of it make you forget the pain.

my birth story

For some reason I seem to enjoy going over the birth in my head and aloud to anyone who shows the slightest bit of interest. I think it's part of my body's way of coming to terms with the huge ordeal and reflecting on what it's just been through.

I may regret this post, but for now I've decided that writing everything down may help me to prepare for future births and for my friends and others to have a true step by step account of what I consider to be the best possible birth I could've hoped for.

I would certainly not consider myself an 'earth mother', however I do feel that going with nature makes sense. On the other hand, I also think evolution is wonderful and we as humans have made things easier and safer for ourselves, so it would be silly to (as an example) turn down medical help, just as it would be to turn down pain relief if I felt I needed it. 

The birth 'plan'

The more research I did prior to childbirth, through NCT classes, reading and watching One Born Every Minute, the more I realised that the best way to handle it was to not have a birth 'plan' but a birth 'wish list' and for Adi to be aware of it, so that he would be able to manage the situation and allow me to get in the zone and focus on labour.

It went something like this:

- to stay at home until it's recommended to go into hospital when contractions are 5cm apart
- to make myself comfortable at home, using the bed and having a bath

- to try to cope on Gas and Air, avoiding drugs that transfer to the baby and an epidural so that I am able to push instinctively

- to have a water birth to ease the pain and have a calming affect on me and the baby

- to push on all fours, to work with gravity and be close to the floor, rather than on my back on a bed

- to opt for the injection to release the placenta - the only part of modern intervention that I felt made sense as it reduces the risk of infection and allow me to bond better with the baby immediately

- to dim the lights and be in a darkened room without invasive and migraine inducing hospital lighting

- to be cool, using a wet flannel, water spray and fan

- for the midwife to talk as little as possible and for Adi to be assertive if the midwife was frustrating me!

- to have the option of my mum in the room, but not if it didn't feel right

- if something happened that meant that the baby and I had to be separated, for Adi to stay with baby and for mum to stay with me
- to have skin on skin ASAP after the birth and to try feeding as soon as possible

The birth 

Stage one

4pm, Friday 21st March: The contractions I'd been feeling over the previous few days were now strong enough and low enough for me to begin timing them. I was sure things were progressing and had joked with family that he would be born on the 22nd (the date of my dad and brothers birthday's). My body must have known, as my thoughts were different to all of the false alarms and thoughts that I'd had previously, I was more certain. The contractions stopped after a couple of hours, but I was still sure things were moving in the right direction.

7pm: Adi and I set off to his parents for fish and chips.

7.06pm: I felt a fairly strong contraction in the car unlike those I'd felt over the previous couple of days. Instinctively I knew that was the start and put it in my contraction timer app.

7.45pm: I felt the next contraction at Adi's parents, from this point onwards they began to come faster, but sporadic, between 30 minutes and 10 minutes apart. They weren't painful but they would stop me in my tracks and I had to stand up to walk around during one or two. 

21.25pm: We left Adi's parents and I called my mum and dad to let them know that things had started.

10.15pm: I had a bath and contractions continued but were slowing down.

11.30pm: I called the hospital to tell them that contractions were every 6-10 minutes apart, they told me to take paracetamol and wait until they were 3cm apart to go to hospital. As we'd always been told to wait until 5 minutes apart this was added stress for both Adi and I, as we were unsure when exactly to go in. The midwife said to have a bath and take paracetamol. 

11.35pm: We rang my parents to tell them that it was definitely labour so that they could set off. We decided that they should both come and could sleep in the spare room should the labour slow down.

12pm: Adi put the tens machine on me to try and relieve the pain of contractions and have it on for when they got more painful. It made no difference whatsoever and so we took it off a while later. 

1.30am: My parents arrived. We all decided to go upstairs to try and sleep in-between contractions.

2am: As soon as my head hit the pillow the contractions began to get unbearable. I was shaking uncontrollably and rolling around the bed. Adi had to start counting through each contractions for me, which really helped me to focus on getting through one at a time and knowing that the pain wasn't going to last much longer.

2.14am: I rang the hospital again to ask to go in as I was really struggling, but they said not to go until contractions were closer together or if my waters had broke (which I didn't think had). At that point they were sporadic, but between 5 and 10 mins apart. At this point I had a couple of paracetamol.

Almost as soon as I'd got off the phone they started coming faster and were between 4 and 5 minutes apart. I should have used my instincts but as the midwife had said not to go in I didn't. I also lost track of the timings because I was focused on just getting through each contraction.

3am: Contractions had been 4 minutes apart from the previous phone call and I'd just had one 2 minutes from the last. I went to the loo and had a tiny bit of blood on the tissue. I shouted to Adi that it was time to go and the next contraction came after 2 minues again.

*Just a reminder that Adi was still counting up to 60 during every contraction! Sometimes it didn't feel like they were coming to an end quick enough, so I'd count quicker and at one point it got up to 78 seconds. I just waved my arm as a signal or grunted for him to start and stop - speech wasn't easy at this point.

3.22am: It had taken us some time to get me into the car and comfortable. I called the hospital from the car, having set off a couple of minutes earlier. Dad was in the back of our car ready to take me in while Adi parked and mum was in her own car following.

3.33am: We arrived at the hospital and I stopped timing the contractions on my app. They were still approximately every 2 minutes.

the last contractions on my app

Adi dropped us off at the main entrance and went to park. Dad walked me up to the labour ward. That walk felt like miles, there were no wheelchairs available, no one on reception and I'd never been to the labour suite before. Luckily a nurse was returning from her break and was able to guide us. I had to stop walking for each contraction and get as close to the floor as possible, which I knew was a sign that things were quite far along. 

When we got into the labour reception I was put in a wheelchair and taken to be examined. Dad left the room and Adi arrived just after. Mum also came in but in no uncertain terms I shouted 'get out' - I obviously hadn't completely lost my dignity at that point!

I was straight away given gas and air which was the first real relief I'd felt. I definitely could have used that earlier, in hindsight waiting until contractions were 2 minutes apart was too long, but I was determined to follow the advice of the midwife and not arrive at the hospital too soon.

The midwife examined me and said that I was 8cm and my waters had broken (which is a mystery!). I said 'thank fuck' as I knew I hadn't got much more to go and felt like it was coming to an end!

I asked for a water birth but was told that the pool hadn't been cleaned from the previous birth. Instead they ran me a bath. Mum said that the midwife didn't even check to see if the pool was ready as I was too far along at that point and almost ready to push. 

They also asked about pain relief but I said if I'd managed to get to 8cm without anything, I felt able to cope on gas and air for the birth. Soon after I got up to say I needed the loo but the midwife said that was a sign that I needed to start pushing.

Stage two
Adi asked for the lights to be dimmed and I asked to be on all fours. The midwife set up the matt and beanbag on the floor. Adi was at my head with a flannel to cool me down and the midwife sat quietly behind me, occassionally using the Doppler to check the babies heart and talking if I needed to know something. She said to just go with what my body was telling me. 

When the pushing stage started she asked me not to use the gas and air and forewarned me that it would burn. Although it was burning, it was almost a relief that I could push and the pain had changed. 

I was now using the flannel as a bit in my mouth to scream in to and grabbing the beanbag to try and hold on to something. I also held one leg in the air (like a dog peeing) as it felt like I was opening as wide as I could and helping the baby out. Adi helped hold my leg up at one point and was almost covered in mucus (quickly wiped away by the nurse!) I also asked him to tie my hair back but that was a bit too much for him (!) - it did prove useful to hold on to it though. 

I was much louder than I'd imagined, screaming deeply with animalistic sounds. I went into a completely instinctive state to scream out the pain.

There were points that I didn't feel able to cope much more, but the midwife was encouraging as she could see the baby's head (she mentioned dark hair) and had told me not to panic when she could see me starting to lose it which snapped me back into focus.

At 5.02am the baby's head was out, the next few seconds felt like an eternity, until my next contraction where I was able to push his body was finally out at 5.03am.
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skin to skin immediately after the birth

Stage three
The baby was laid in-between my legs, on one side, slightly bluefish in colour. There was no noise until the midwife had removed the cord that was around his neck and even then only a tiny whimpery cry.

At that point I just wanted to be on the bed with the cord gone and have skin on skin contact with the baby. It felt odd having the cord dangling in-between my legs. Adi didn't want to cut the cord and nor did I so we asked the midwife to cut it and help me on to the bed with baby.

The delivery of the placenta was almost as difficult as the birth. I used gas and air to get through it, which took the midwife some time as it didn't want to detach. I'm so glad I had the injection to remove it when I did, it allowed me to breath a sigh of relief, hold my baby and be left in peace for some time.